He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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