i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
