I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
