There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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