you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
