If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
