used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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