There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
