You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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