It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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