Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
