lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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