We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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