her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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