Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
