shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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