i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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