He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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