I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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