I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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