You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
