I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
