her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
