He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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