Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
