two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
