East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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