My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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