Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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