thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
