i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
