Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
