im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
