i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I party with great urgency now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
