I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
