Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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