It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
