i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
