Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
