the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
