yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
