I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize