Kiss
Puke
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
