): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Drunk is not a location!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
