Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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