Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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