Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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