also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
