Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
