He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
