I wanna bring you to show and tell
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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