Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
