so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize