I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize