break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize