very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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