I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
